Happy Spaces, Smiling Faces!

As I touched on last week, children having respect for their spaces and being responsible at an age appropriate level for cleaning up their own things are closely related.  When we take care of things we show that they have value to us.  These things that we have are of themselves not necessarily important, but when things are kept in good order the atmosphere of our homes is calmer and more pleasant.  Kids feel important when they are trusted to be responsible for their own things. 

As promised, here are some tips to help your child be successful in learning how to tidy up:

• Break it down into small steps.  Rather than direct your child to “clean up your room,” tell them to start by cleaning up all of the toy cars.  Once they’ve finished the first task, move onto the next (”clean up the toy dishes”).  These small successes give your child a direction to get moving in and the confidence to keep going. 
• Make it fun!  Cleaning up does not have to be a dreaded chore.  Have your toy cars zoom into the toybox, tuck the dolls in gently.  Singing a clean up song or listening to music as you work can make tidy up fun and fast. 
• Help your child and expect your child to help you.  Cleaning up together can be a great time to chat and connect. 
• Encourage your child to help you with your tasks around the house.  As they dust, sweep and tidy along with you they can learn an appreciation for and the skills to show respect and care for their home. 
• Set up a routine.  Build time into the flow of your day for clean up.  This will be different for each family.  Some people set  a rule where each activity or toy must be cleaned up before a new one can be started.  I find this works well for crafts and games, but for toys I find that this interrupts their imaginative play.  For that I find it best to make sure clean up happens each evening before bedtime routines or before supper.  Find what works best for you and make it part of every day. 

In this way, caring for your home becomes a family project and kids learn age appropriate responsibility and respect for their things.  Next week I’ll touch on an opposite idea…why it’s important for parents to play with and spend time with their kids. 

Teaching children respect for their rooms, toys and stuff is important.  Skills learned as a child will affect their behavior in this area as they grow older.

One key factor in teaching this respect to children of any age is to remember that our children “do what we do, not what we say.”  If we want our children to show respect for their environments, we must model this for them: picking up after ourselves, being organized, cleaning up one thing before moving on to the next, and showing appreciation for our homes and the things we own. 

As parents, we can set our kids up for success by using a few simple ideas:

• Limit the number of toys that are available to your child at a given time.  Less toys for younger kids, but you can increase the amount as they get older and are able to take greater responsibility for their things.  A good way to do this is to keep some toys in storage and to switch them around every once in a while or to put toys in separate bins and have your child select one or two bins to play with at a time. 
• Design your child’s area tastefully.  Keep it simple but fun - a space your child can feel is theirs (sense of ownership) and is worth keeping nice. 
• Assign a place to each thing.  This keeps a space from becoming cluttered and overwhelming.  It lets your child feel empowered to clean up.  Set things up so that your child is able to follow through.  If your method of organization is too complicated or detailed, your child may not even attempt to clean up for fear of failure/not doing it right. 
• Show your child the correct way to use their things.  Sometimes children break things or do not care properly for them because they have no idea what the item really is nor how to use it properly.   

These tips are a great start.  But remember, children are curious and adventurous; they learn by experimenting and exploring.  Things are bound to get broken or mixed up sometimes.   Next week I’ll share some further tips on how to involve your kids in tidying up and caring for their spaces.